lelepwrk

park minkyun

[onf]

T

jung hoseok

[bts]

T

seo youngho

[nct]

T

lee taemin

[shinee]

T

nakamoto yuta

[nct]

T

park sungjin

[day6]

T

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semi ults

lee jihoon (seventeen)
chae hyungwon (monsta x)
noh yoonho (vav)
jo jinho (pentagon)

boys

lee jinki (shinee)
zhang yixing (exo)
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hwang hyunjin (stray kids)

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nct (sm)
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you've been selected
na jaemin/lee jeno

love, nana
lee jeno/na jaemin

the selection untold series : jeno
side book for "you've been selected"

the selection untold series : mark
side book for "you've been selected"

the selection untold series : yukhei
side book for "you've been selected"

the selection untold series : donghyuck
side book for "you've been selected"

captain
johnny suh/ten leechaiyapornkul

3rd street bakery
dong sicheng/nakamoto yuta

baby, mine
huang renjun/wong yukhei

youtube guy
park jaehyung/kang younghyun

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December, 25, 7:30 PM
Dear Jaemin,
It's been eleven hours since you left. I've started to go to your room twice now to ask how ask how you like your presents, and remembered that you aren't here. I've gotten so used to you that it's strange that you aren't around, drifting down the halls. I've nearly called a few times, but I don't out of sheer pride and not wanting to seem possessive. I don't want to feel like I'm a cage to you. I remember how you said the Palace was like that on your first night here, a beautiful cage. I think that over time, you've gotten freer, and I'd hate to ruin that or have you feel like I'm taking that away from you. I'm going to have to distract myself until you come back.
I've decided to sit and write to you, something I distinctly remember telling you I would never do, in the hopes that it would make me feel like I'm talking to you. It sort of does. I can imagine you sitting here, laughing at my idea, maybe shaking your head at me as if to say I'm being silly. You do that sometimes, did you know? I like that expression on you. Your the only one who wears it in a way that doesn't come across in a way that makes me think that you believe I'm completely hopeless. You smile at my quirks, accept that they exist, and continue to be my friend, and in these eleven short hours, I've started to miss that. I wonder what you've done in that time. I'm betting you've made it across the world, made it to your house, and are safe. I know you are safe, and I can't imagine what kind of comfort you are for your family right now. The lovely omega has finally returned!
I keep trying to picture your house. I remember you telling me it was small, that it has a treehouse, and the garage was where your father and sister did most of their work. Beyond that, I've had to resort to my imagination. I image you curled up on the couch with your sister, or playing ball with your brother. I remember that, you know, that you said your little brother liked to play ball. I tried to imagine walking into your house with you. I would have liked that, to see where you grew up. I would have loved to see your brother run around, or be embraced by your mother or other siblings. I think it would be comforting to sense the presence of people around you, to hear the creaking floorboards and doors shutting. I would have liked to sit in one part of the house and probably be able to smell food cooking in the kitchen. I've always thought that real homes are full of the aroma of whatever is being cooked. I wouldn't do a scrap of work. Nothing to do with negotiations, or armies, or budgets. I'd sit with you, maybe work on my photography while you played the piano. We'd be Fives together, you and me, just like you said. I could join your family for dinner, talking over each other in a collection of conversations instead of whispering and waiting turns. Maybe I'd sleep in a spare bed or even on the couch. I'd even sleep on the floor next to your bed if you'd let me.
I think about that sometimes. Falling asleep next to you, I mean like we did in the safe room. It was nice to hear your breaths, as they came and went, so quiet and close, helping me by making me feel like I wasn't so alone.
This letter has gotten foolish, and I think you know how much I detest looking and feeling foolish.
But I still do, for you.
Jeno



December 25, 1:25 AM
Dear Jaemin,
It should probably be bedtime by now, but I can't sleep, and I'm trying to relax, but I can't. All I can think about is you. I'm terrified you're going to get hurt, and I know someone would tell me if you were hurt, and that has led to it's own kind of paranoia. If anyone comes to deliver a message, my heart stops, fearing the worst: you are gone, and you aren't coming back to me.
I wish you were here. I wish I could just see you.
You are never getting these letters. It's much to humiliating.
I want you home. I keep thinking of your smile and worrying that I'll never see it again.
I hope you come back to me, Jaemin.
Jeno



December 26, 10:54 AM
Dear Jaemin,
Miracles of miracles, I've made it through the night. When I finally woke up, I convinced myself that I was worried for nothing. I vowed that I would focus on work today, and not worry so much about you.
I got through breakfast and most of a meeting before thoughts of you consumed me. I told everyone that I was sick, and now am hiding in my room, writing to you and hoping it will make me feel like you're actually here. I'm so selfish. Today, you will bury your father and all I can think of is bringing you home. Having written that out, and seeing it in ink, I feel like an absolute ass. You are exactly where you need to be. I think I already said this, but I'm sure you're such a comfort for your family.
You know, I haven't told this you, and I should have, but you've gotten so much stronger since I met you. I'm not arrogant enough to believe or insist that it has anything to do with me, but I think that the experience has really changed you. I know that it's changed me. From the very beginning, you had your own brand of fearlessness, and that has been polished into something very strong. Where I used to imagine you as an omega with a bag of rocks, ready to throw them at any foe who crossed his path, you have become the rock yourself. Steady, strong, true, and able. I bet your family sees that in you. I should have told you that. I hope you come home so I can.
Jeno



December 26, 6:45 PM
Dear Jaemin,
I've been thinking of our first kiss. I guess I should say first kisses, but what I mean is the second one, the one I was invited to give to you. Did I ever tell you how I felt that night? It wasn't just getting my first kiss, it was getting my first kiss with you. I've seen so much, Jaemin, had access to all corners of our planet, but never have I come across something so painfully beautiful as that kiss. I wish it was something I could catch with a net or put in a book, something I could save and share with the world so that I could tell the universe: this is what it's like when you fall.
These letters are so embarrassing. I'll have to burn them before you get back.
Jeno



December 27, 2:15 PM
Dear Jaemin,
I might as well tell you this since your servant will tell you anyway. I've been thinking about the little things you do. Sometimes you hum or sing when you walk around the Palace. Sometimes, when I come up to your room, I hear the melodies you've saved up in your heart, spilling through the cracks. The Palace seems empty without them.
I also miss your smell. I miss the faint smell of artificial strawberry and the smell of your perfume radiating off of your hair when you turn to laugh at me, or your scent, faint because of the suppressants but still there, radiating off of your skin as as walk though the garden.
It's intoxicating.
So, I went to your room to spray some of your perfume on my handkerchief, another trick to make me think you're actually here. And as I was leaving your room, Chenle caught me. I'm not sure what he was doing there since you're not here, but he saw me, shrieked, and a guard came running in to see what was wrong. He had his staff gripped, eyes flashing threateningly.
I was nearly attacked, all because I missed your smell.
Jeno



December 27, 9:10 PM
My dearest Jaemin,
I've never written a love letter so forgive me if I fail now.
The simple thing would be to say, I love you. But, in truth, it's so much more than that. I want you, Jaemin, I need you. Out of fear, I've held so much back from you. I'm terrified that if I show you everything, all at once, it'll overwhelm you, and you'll run away. I'm afraid that somewhere, in the back of your heart, there's a love for someone else that will never die away. I'm afraid that if I make a mistake again, something so huge, that you'll retreat back into that silent little world of yours. Nothing, no scolding from a tutor, no lasing from my father, nor any isolation in my youth has ever hurt me so much as you separating yourself from me.
I keep thinking that it's there, waiting to to come back and strike. So, I've held onto my options, fearing that the moment I wipe them away, you will be standing there, arms crossed and guarded, happy to be my friend, but unable to be my king, my omega, my husband. And for you to be my husband is all I want in the world. I love you. I was afraid to admit it for a long time, but now I know it clearly.
I would never rejoice in the loss of a father, or the sadness you've felt since he passed, or the emptiness that I've felt since your departure, but I'm so grateful that you had to go. I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to figure this out, if I hadn't have had to start trying to imagine a life without you. I know now, with absolute certainty, that is nothing I want.
I wish I was a true artist so I could find a better way to tell you what you've become to me. Jaemin, my love, you are sunlight filtering through the trees. You are the joy that breaks through the sadness. You are the breeze on a warm day. You are clarity in the midst of confusion. You are not the world, no, but everything that makes the world good. Without you, my life would still exist, but that's all it would manage to do, just exist. I would have nothing to live for.
You said to get things right, one of us would have to get things right, one of us would have to take a leap of faith. I think I've discovered the ravine that must be leapt, and I hope to find you waiting for me on the other side.
I love you, Jaemin.
Yours forever, Jeno

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